The “Zero-Day”

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Sometimes, happens that you feel like the pendant you are wearing on your neck. A matt pendant. Every part of you is around you, and you are standing  in a no-time zone, far from everything above all far from you. I call this, the “Zero-day”. The “Zero-day” hasn’t time, it can last a day or a year. You can see everything your body does but you feel far from it, you feel a stranger in your land, you lose any familiarity and your thoughts are set in your pendant like you.  You miss the breathe  feeling beauty around you so far, so unreachable. You loose control, you loose yourself, you are alone because no one can hear you, like a mermaid on the bottom of the ocean: half fish, half human. “What” are you? Where is your true land?

In that time you feel powerless against your own will, you know you have a mission but you feel completely bound, awash with everything’s relativism. And when everything is relative, the world becomes completely unknown without fixed points, it looses every kind of truth. In the “Zero-Day” you become mad.

But… what about madness? Ludvig Binswanger, a Swiss psychiatrist and existential psychologist told about madness like an another way of “being-in-the-world” the same thing that happens when you dream. The concept of “I” is something different from what we usually think of… The “I” doesn’t stay in front of us but he loves to hide himself in a thousand forms, and everything that happens to us has a connection with things in the world. In other words, the concept of “metaphor” isn’t only a figure of speech but it is the true way of  feel our own “I” in his forms in the world. For this reason poets and artists can describe so clearly something that we feel so strong inside us, but we can’t find the right words to talk about it: they looked inside “the abyss” ,  where everything exists without a form and everything is possible. Everyone has this experience many times, but we are unable to understand it; for example, when you feel really happy you say “I feel over the moon!” and when you feel sad, you say “I feel down” : what do the words “down” and “over the moon” have to do with you, with your body or your feelings? Of course it is a metaphor but you really feel this kind of  motion inside of you… you feel up and you feel down… what is this?! This is only one of the many ways of “being-in-the-world”: in this metaphor something that is inside us, a part of us (for example the sadness), has become something that fell down… like in a dream: we are not only us but also other things…and this is completely innate…

When you feel like a pendant that you are wearing on your neck and everything around you is relative and it seams without sense, you know that in that moment you are watching into abyss: if you decide to stay there you’ll remain trapped in your pendant, in the “Zero-Day”, it is positive for a short time (if you rest there you risk going mad) but then, you have to make the choice and you have to give to the feelings that you felt there, their image in the world… this is the way to save us… this is art, and art is (like I just said before), a translation of the invisible… of the thousand ways of “being-in-the-world”…

 

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